I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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