One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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