Betty ford says i'm here all night
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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