Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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