You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
