I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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