porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
