why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
