I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
