I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
