i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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