And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
