Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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