Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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