There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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