I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
