TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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