I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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