Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
