SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Randomize
