I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
sex in a hospital.. check
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
