Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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