So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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