Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
