he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize