What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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