Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
