I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
