Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
