He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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