New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize