is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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