Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
