walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
