Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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