Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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