yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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