I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
