so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
