Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
