Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
