Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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