i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
