The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
