I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize