She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
