I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
