Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
