I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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