All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
