Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I could fuck to npr.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
