I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
