Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
