just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
