I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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