We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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