I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
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