Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
