I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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