Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
