I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize