Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize