Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
