Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
